i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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