He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
