Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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