Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
