trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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