I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
