I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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