You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
