no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
