you turned your livingroom into a bong?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize