just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
