just survived the first fart of the relationship.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it's great music for shaving your balls
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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