so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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