What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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