sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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