The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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