It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
