i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
