i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
