coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
where are my eyebrows?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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