I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
