I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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