It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
