Do you still have your period?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
