yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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