I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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