The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So much rum. So many feels.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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