On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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