Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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