Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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