I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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