when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Alive.
So much puke
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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