I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
