Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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