sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
