Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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