I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
