Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
