This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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