Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
ok first of all what the fuck
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
