He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
