But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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