When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
