i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
