we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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