I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
