toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
