is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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