Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
