that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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