haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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