If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
