Betty ford says i'm here all night
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
