I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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