that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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