just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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