Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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