I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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