Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
