And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
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Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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