yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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