The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
