i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
