but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
