Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's no shave November. This is our time.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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