no. you can't hotbox the world.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
